Boomer Email

Boomers on the right and the left are media-poisoned and stewing in a noxious cocktail of internet dregs, the likes of which we savvy youth will never see; they drown in the froth we have learned to surf. People pay for subscription newsletters at the same level they pay for traditional journalism, promised hyper-specific, fast moving, expertly drafted cornucopias of insight delivered directly to their morning inboxes. But why go through middle men when you could go straight to the source: the share-happy and increasingly-out-of-touch elderly American id. If you want to understand the situation in America, particularly if your mental image of America is a strawman 60-something midwesterner who may or may not exist, then Boomer Email lets you immerse yourself in the literary and pictorial drivel the assails your imaginary, surrogate, and projected parents and grandparents every day. Put yourselves in the shoes of the Boomers and the Greatest Generation as they boot up their inscrutable glowing boxes every morning and are delivered (hand delivered through the thoughtful forwarding of dozens, nay scores, of their peers) absolute proof that Obama made the frogs gay -- but (and here’s the rub) not until three years after the election of Donald J. Trump. Boomer email chains are proof that a p2p social network is possible. Somehow, at the end of the day, it is our smartphone-incapable parents who have disrupted the Platform as the model of online information exchange. Boomer Email provides a snapshot into an invisible, but influential and highly trafficked, communications web where all information is delivered by first degree contacts and yet permeates its demographic with enviable saturation. We, the children or grandchildren, sporadically filtering septuagenarian chain emails from our inboxes, sit far-flung on the trailing arms of the immense spiral nebula of default formatting and questionable attachment file types that is the Boomer email info-system. Let us extend a probe towards the seething morass at its center!

This is exactly why email was invented

This is amazing. Can you please also create the exact opposite of this service? A newsletter that people can subscribe their boomer relatives/parents/etc to the headlines of that we read? But make it look like it comes from a church or it was forwarded from a friend...

Subscribed 👍 gimme the good stuff!

ok boomer

I generally stay away from boomers, but I'll make an exception...

This. I've never been so unaware of a necessity to my life. Thank you.