How do you bounce back when things go wrong?

Question

When things don't go as planned or the context is just super difficult, how do you deal with this? Especially when everything changes so fast.

Christoph Paterok · Accepted Answer

The very first thing I try to do is to take a step back. Most of the time my focus is too strong on one thing so I either try to expand it and see everything from a more abstract level. If I can't do that, I at least try to take a different perspective. Even if it is again on a very detailed level. This then helps me to reach the abstract level at some point.

On the abstract level, I then try to find the rough direction again and slowly develop a new plan again.

I hope you can understand that. 😅

Stephanie Katcher · Answer

There's a difference between super difficult and critical but I apply the same internal process for resilience. Take a deep breath and remember my why, what is the reason I'm doing everything I'm doing. Once centered, take a fresh look at all the things not moving in the right direction and see what's the one thing I can do to move things forward right now that will make other items irrelevant or easy.  Final check is to make sure my actions are lining up towards the supporting objectives of my big goals. If I have inconsistencies I know I'm working against myself.

Katerina · Answer

@tuna_sogut Yes to "don't take it too seriously and processing events" - You need the first to be able to process the events. What helped me was to try to answer "Why do I feel like that". The rest of processing (what did I learn, what should I do differently...) follows from answering that one question.

Jasper Ruijs · Answer

Meditate and consciously try to create a separation between my work and my being.

When I feel overwhelmed or when I make a mistake. I start with asking myself this question am I physical sick?

No, ok than don't worry about what you can't control. Everyone make  mistakes, forgiving yourself is learnable skill.

Atilla Tuna Söğüt · Answer

It’s not falling off the wagon that kills you. It’s the wallowing around in the mud. And not taking things too seriously helps you get out of the mud a lot faster.

It hurts when things go wrong or we fail or someone else fails us. We’ve all been there and we know it is integral to the process of building something. As such, we also know that the only thing to do is to pivot or salvage the product or even just learn and try again later. In my experience, what makes that process a lot easier is to see the lighter side of it all so as to avoid falling into a cycle of despair and self-pity. That way, you can get back to a productive state much faster.

TL;DR

Don’t take it too seriously but take the time to process what happened. Then, you Marcus Aurelius that s*** and focus on what you can control, let go of the external, and move on.

Al · Answer

I employ the stoic lesson found in the following books.

- How to Think Like a Roman Emperor: The Stoic Philosophy of Marcus Aurelius by Donald Robertson
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson

Madhu Chamarty · Answer

Context switching helps me here (unlike in most other cases). I switch to focus on things that bring me joy / calmness. Sometimes (and I can't believe I am admitting this here :)) it might be a rerun of a Fresh Prince of Bel Air episode, or a pack of Oreo Thins (yes, yes, emotional dependence on food, I am aware), or even talking to friends/family about what I can help with in their life. This shift in focus on either self-care (food / nostalgia) or service to others really helps me, and equips me well to return to whatever challenge threw me off pre-switch. I also recently learned from CBT that cognitive distortions, which drive most unpleasant emotions, can be tactically resolved through powerful mental frameworks (e.g. "putting your thoughts on trial" - look it up!). I am very excited about this approach too, in addition to the others I mentioned earlier.

Answer

1. Take a break or a pause, just don't keep at it for a min.
2. Talk about it with someone. If you have a co-founder, great, then you can talk and vent about it. Not blaming assigning or nagging of some sort. Just plain old spitting out frustrations.
3. Then evaluate or ask for a fresh eyes or ask for help

Pavel Osadchuk · Answer

Here is mine .2 cents. It might sound stupid and controversial but it works for me and maybe will be useful for you.

First of all - I don't do plans. Human is extremely bad in predicting future. Just look at all these plans for 2020 YoY growth 😄
What I prefer to watch is a vector. If I like this vector I will continue to do whatever I do, otherwise - it's time to change something.

My personal problem here that I change too slow, but that's not relevant to the topic.

Even then I do fall into despair sometimes. My business down -80% in revenue last year after 4 years of 30% YoY growth and this is painful as ****.

So, how to handle it: I split it into several parts in that particular order (remember airplane motto "Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.")

Physical health - 80+ work hours will give you nothing good ever. Limit yourself to 40h a week, sleep well, eat well. I would add do exercises, but sadly I'm too lazy for that. Anyway, get a 'you-time'

Mental health - talk to your family, talk to your parents, talk to your friends, talk to your partners. That really helps, no matter if they give you advice or not, but sharing the problems and talking about them is good, it clears your mind and gives you support.

Business health - in business I stick to a profit-first idea, that not only ensures that my money on the table, but also that I do have money to pay everyone when needed. Sometimes it means to cut costs, to slow business, but survive and stay on the course.

I hope it gives you something to process.

P.S. Wrote this from the phone, will check with Grammarly later to fix mistakes

How do you bounce back when things go wrong?

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