To say "No" to something you need to first have a perspective about it. You will have a perspective on it if you have cared about the subject enough. 🧐 So start caring about what you are building, who you are building it for, and why are you building it. 🧘‍♂️ When you do, you will have your opinions and will be able to meaningfully answer with a "yes" or a "no".

Short answer is - the hard way. Saying "No" doesn't come naturally to any of us. We say yes to most anything, something's work out and most don't. It's only when I looked closer with an intent to find out why am I being unproductive or not making progress - is I realised I wasn't valuing my time, attention, and purpose correctly. My focus was wavering. The problem is one can read all the books, anecdotes from others, create frameworks - but it is only through personal experience that you learn the art of saying no. Because it is NOT the outside world that forces you to say yes, it is your voice from inside.

You have to learn where "always YES" is coming from. Tackle that and be happy forever, saying "no" with a smile. :)

I think saying 'No' becomes easy when you are able to articulate it politely and without causing offense. In my line of work, I have had potential clients lowball me. On one hand, I need their projects, but cannot say yes to move ahead. So, instead of saying 'no, sorry', I say it more politely like "Unfortunately, that does not work for me. Can we do this instead?". It keeps the conversation going while also having conveyed what you needed to say.

Setting boundaries by learning to say "no" has been one of the best things I've ever done and once you start saying it, it becomes very easy to do

It's hard to know how to say "no". I believe you need to have your values and know yourself well to know how to say "no".

I started doing it more when I started feeling what is going on inside me when I make a decision or communicate one. And now the voice is so loud that I can't ignore it.

I struggled for a long time until I joined Mckinsey, and they taught me a framework mostly to deal with demanding situations. Might look like I plug but just sharing as its fitting. I wrote extensively about it here: https://twitter.com/supermode_/s...

Learning to say "no" is an important skill to have in order to maintain healthy boundaries and take care of yourself. It can be helpful to practice saying "no" in your head, set clear boundaries with others, be assertive when you do say "no," and consider offering an alternative solution if you can't do something that someone has asked of you. Remember that it is okay to say "no" and that you are not obligated to do everything that others ask of you.

Initially, I said yes to all feature requests. At some point, it became very clear that the product will become bloated quickly if we keep doing that and now we only approve those features that many customers requested and that fit our product vision. For all other requests, it is a polite "no".

tell your honest reasons why you're saying NO and sometimes people rework on their side and give you better stuff.

By being taken advantage of to the point where it really bothered me, and over the years, I started to say no. Its the same scenario on why would a dog sit on a nail, why won't it stand up> It squeecks and cries... Well, because it isn't hurting enough, yet. And funny thing is, when I started doing that, I actually got more money. I lived at a place which I rented and lived with the owner and I was a guy that would go to the shop many times for free etc... then I started to say no and they paid me now to go. One of many stories. The mindset applies in other aspects of life. Eventually you get enough of bs and you start to change, as long as you want to - as some people want to stay under the radar the whole time, but you don't grow that way.

I think I just learned it over time based on certain realisation about life. The way I see it, I can’t make everyone happy so when I say NO, I’m okay with people being disappointed (it’s only for a short time anyway) - life goes on. And vice versa if people say no to me, it happens and if it’s worth it I’ll keep going till I can get a yes

In the agency, sometimes we receive too much feedback from clients (Indonesian case, different country different culture) because they didn't notice in early. Here what I learn when saying "No" - Give a small time before saying no - Don't just say "no" only but give them options would be better - Open discussion by saying no + reason

The truth is that it's hard to live in a world that is constantly "under the microscope" of everyone. Work, social media, neighbours, country you come from, new place to live in - everything affects who you are because people give opinions on your work, commitment, products, look, behaviour and unfortunately not everyone will send constructive viewpoint. "Choose wise," they say. But how do you know what is 'good'? I think that by giving in to all sorts of trials in your life is one of the ways to learn to say NO. Because you don't have to say NO directly, show it with your actions. Have opinions, listen, read, talk to mentors - all this gives courage.

I was struggling with it too. In my case, a simple exercise worked pretty well. I told myself that my default first answer will be no to all for some time😉 The person who asked me to do something could always convince me to change my mind, and very often my final answer was "yes." However, it was always followed by reasonable discussion and solid arguments from the requester. Most importantly, this trick set up my mind to raise more questions and have a deeper think about request. In my case, the fact that I often agreed to some things was due to a lack of proper thinking about the topic and an automatic „yes” answer. If you give yourself some time to think about the request you are more likely to answer „no”, and if you eventually say „yes” it is usually a thoughtful decision.

I work in the country club industry which pretty much forces the"yes" on you. But I realized that I cannot sacrifice my whole life for work. I began saying no when my life started to disappear. For me, it costs me money everytime I say no, that's the hard part. From the people side, people respect that there is more to life.

Finding clear and kind ways to say no.

Have not learnt it. Love seeing the comments, they're helping me out.

Still learning, but it's definitely really important :)